Love and ADHD: Hinge’s New Report Empowers Daters to Rethink Communication Norms
Today, in recognition of ADHD Awareness Month, Hinge releases its first “Love and ADHD” report, a new addition to its Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise (D.A.T.E.) series. This groundbreaking study of over 60,000 Hinge users, including 9,000 with a clinical ADHD diagnosis, reveals that 75% of daters with ADHD feel misunderstood by their matches due to the neurotypical dating norms that guide digital communication. The report addresses the often overlooked struggles of dating with ADHD, providing fresh insights to help both people with ADHD and neurotypical daters better understand each other over text and go on the great dates they both want.
The study uncovered two major ADHD communication challenges that are often misinterpreted by neurotypical daters: responding to messages and engaging in small talk. The report offers strategies for navigating these difficulties and bridging communication gaps among all daters—developed with support by Disability:IN and with insights from Hinge’s internal team of PhD researchers, behavioral scientists, and experts Logan Ury and Moe Ari Brown, LMFT.
Breaking Communication Misconceptions
Timely replies, consistent communication, and small talk are considered crucial by many daters to show interest in someone you match with. However, for people who have ADHD, navigating these expectations for messaging can feel overwhelming. This often results in daters with ADHD being unfairly perceived from the beginning as disinterested, leading to what Hinge refers to as “Misunderstood Matches.”
The report helps daters overcome the communication misconceptions faced by ADHD daters over text and build momentum by encouraging neurotypical daters to reconsider immediate assumptions of disinterest, including:
- Forgetting to respond: 43% of Hinge daters with ADHD often forget to respond to matches, leaving potential matches feeling ignored when that’s not the intention.
- Slow replies: Almost a third (32%) of daters with ADHD feel misunderstood when matches assume they're not interested due to slow responses.
- Struggling with small talk: Hinge daters with ADHD are 31% more likely to report that they don’t like these surface-level exchanges, which can make early conversations harder to sustain.
Rethinking Dating Norms: Mutually Establish Expectations Early
Hinge’s “Love and ADHD” report calls for a shift in how daters—both with and without ADHD— can approach communication in modern dating. Logan Ury, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, noted, "At Hinge, our goal is to help anyone looking for love to find the relationship of their dreams. Through our new D.A.T.E. report, we’re working to support our daters with ADHD who are often left behind because they don’t fit into traditional expectations around DBL (Digital Body Language). In this report, we’re encouraging all daters to rethink how they communicate and set expectations. Together — with empathy and knowledge — we can create more authentic and successful connections."
“I find that my ADHD can lead to an unconventional conversation style. Small talk feels restrictive and unnatural. I wish there was a better understanding of how ADHD brains work in conversation, and that the things we have been taught to be rude are actually just an ADHDers’ way of expressing themselves and sharing within a conversation.”
Ella Willis (they/them), @_ellawillis
Fostering A More Inclusive, Compassionate Dating Experience
Disability:IN shared on the research, "Disability:IN is proud to partner with Hinge to explore daters with ADHD. This report sheds light on the experiences, habits and challenges of those within the community in dating and relationships. By collaborating with Hinge to make this research accessible and affirming, we hope to empower daters with the tools and knowledge they need to foster more meaningful connections. Hinge’s efforts to address common communication challenges are a positive step toward creating a more inclusive dating environment where all individuals, including those with ADHD, are understood and supported."
Hinge is on a mission to create a less lonely world by inspiring intimate, in-person connections. The D.A.T.E. Report series is a vital part of this mission and is designed to provide its community with the research-backed tools they need to find meaningful relationships. By addressing the unique experiences of daters with ADHD, Hinge hopes to promote a more inclusive and empathetic dating experience that leads to great dates.
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Methodology
The D.A.T.E Report’s studies were conducted by Hinge Labs, a one-of-a-kind internal team of PhD researchers and behavioral scientists who have the sole purpose of providing evidence-based insights to help daters on Hinge find love. With support from Disability:IN, Hinge’s internal team of PhD. researchers and dating experts conducted surveys in February 2024 with more than 60,000 global respondents, including 9,000 daters on Hinge who reported having a clinical diagnosis of ADHD (formally diagnosed by a healthcare provider). Recognizing that dating is complex and personal, Hinge Labs uses both quantitative and qualitative research methods to study successful daters and uses those insights to help build the most effective dating app for getting people into relationships.
About Hinge
Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. The company is on a mission to create a less lonely world by inspiring intimate, in-person connections. Through in-depth and personalized profiles, daters have unique conversations that get them off the app and out on great dates. And it’s resonating. Hinge is setting up a date every two seconds. Hinge was acquired by Match Group (NASDAQ:MTCH) in 2018.
About Disability:IN
Disability:IN is a global organization driving disability inclusion and equality in business. More than 550 corporations partner with Disability:IN to create long-term business and social impact through the world’s most comprehensive disability inclusion benchmarking and reporting tool, the Disability Equality Index; best-in-class conferences and programs; expert counsel and engagement; and public policy leadership. Disability:IN’s Supplier Diversity Program is the nation’s recognized third-party certification program for disability-owned businesses, including businesses owned by service-disabled veterans. To learn more, visit http://disabilityin.org.
About Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science (she/her)
Logan Ury is Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science. She’s a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. She also writes the popular weekly newsletter — Logan's Love Letter. She studied psychology at Harvard and ran Google’s behavioral science team, the Irrational Lab.
About Moe Ari Brown, Love and Connection Expert (he/they)
Moe is Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert. They are a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and one of the leading mental health experts in the realm of Transgender Identity. Over the past decade, Moe has worked with LGBTQIA+ individuals, couples, and families on their journey to love their authentic selves and establish meaningful connections. They also serve as a Diversity & Equity Consultant and on the Board of Directors for The It Gets Better Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to uplifting and connecting LGBTQIA+ youth around the globe. Moe graduated from Northwestern University with an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy.