Overcoming “Newcomer Nerves”: Hinge’s Tips on Joining a Social Club

With the New Year upon us, people are diving headfirst into resolutions focused on building new connections. For many, this includes making goals to socialize more or adding “find my community” to their 2025 bingo card. Joining a social group or club is a powerful way to turn these intentions into reality. However, stepping into a new social space often comes with what Hinge calls “Newcomer Nerves.”

What are Newcomer Nerves?
Newcomer Nerves are the anxiety and self-doubt felt when attending a social group/club event for the first time. If this resonates, you’re not alone: over half of U.S. young adults (52%)* report that anxiety often holds them back from socializing, even though they deeply crave a sense of belonging.

Overcoming Newcomer Nerves
“Feeling nervous about joining a new group is completely normal,” says licensed therapist and Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert, Moe Ari Brown (he/they). “It’s a natural response to stepping out of your comfort zone. The good news is these feelings don’t have to hold you back from making new connections this year.” Here are Moe’s expert tips to help people overcome their Newcomer Nerves and confidently join a new social group/club—whether it’s a pickleball league, reading club, or anything in between.

• Get a sense of what to expect. Take some time to learn about the group before diving in. Browse their social pages, reach out to a group leader, or ask someone who has been there before what the vibe is like. Many groups also offer an intro session for first-timers. Sometimes knowing a bit about the space can make all the difference in calming any worries and help you feel more prepared to step in.
• Set goals. Set simple, digestible, measurable goals when trying something for the first time. When we notice ourselves accomplishing small goals initially, it helps us build confidence in our ability to connect. Whether it’s showing up, complimenting someone’s outfit, or sparking a conversation, each small goal helps you make one more hour of connection. You could even aim to exchange phone numbers or meet at least two people. Setting these intentions beforehand allows you to celebrate each moment you put yourself out there, no matter how small.
• Think of questions and/or conversation starters ahead of time. When you’re new to a space, it’s common to be curious about all the new people you’re meeting. Use that curiosity to your advantage and plan some questions you might ask someone you want to get to know. Having some go-to questions, such as “What area do you live in?” or “How long have you been attending these events?” in the back of your mind can help you make introductions and keep the conversation flowing while you work through any anxiety coming up about being new.
• While getting ready for the event/meetup, say affirmations in the mirror. New experiences can raise anxiety about putting yourself out there and meeting new people. I invite you to practice affirming and celebrating yourself. Here are a few affirmations that I encourage my clients to try when they are new to a space:

• Dress to impress. I often get asked, “What do I wear to meet new people?” I always suggest wearing things that make you feel confident. Wearing uncomfortable clothes can make it hard to be present and feel good about yourself. I suggest wearing your favorite outfit in your closet that makes you admire yourself in the mirror. Then, you’ll exude confidence and self-love. When you’re more confident, you are more open to being social.
• Arrive on 5-10 minutes early. Showing up 5-10 minutes early can help you settle into the space. Take a look around, get a sense of the environment, and give yourself a moment to breathe. Starting from a place of calmness can make your interactions feel more natural and help you feel like you belong. For an added confidence boost, I tell my clients to say some affirmations to themselves as they arrive and wait for an event to begin.
• Bring a friend if you’d like, but know that you’re not alone if you don’t. Going with a friend can ease some of those “newcomer nerves”—in fact, 53% of Gen Zers say having a companion makes social settings less intimidating. But if you’re attending solo, remember that many others may be attending for the first time too. You’re not alone, even if you arrive on your own.

Hinge’s Commitment to In-Person Connection
Hinge is dedicated to tackling loneliness and creating genuine in-person connections. Beyond offering tools to foster meaningful relationships, Hinge has partnered with organizations like the Coalition to End Social Isolation & Loneliness and the Crisis Text Line to provide resources that address loneliness and empower people to find belonging. By collaborating with its in-house and external experts and partners, Hinge helps to equip people with the necessary resources and tips they need to foster community and belonging.

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**From December 15, 2023 to February 15, 2024, dcdx (a Gen Z-led research & advisory firm) and Hinge conducted a mix of qualitative and quantitative research, including national surveys of 3,508 young adults.

About Hinge

The Dating App Designed To Be Deleted®: Hinge is on a mission to create a less lonely world by inspiring intimate, in-person connections. Through in-depth and personalized profiles, daters have unique conversations that get them off the app and out on great dates. And it’s resonating. Hinge is setting up a date every two seconds. Hinge was acquired by Match Group (NASDAQ:MTCH) in 2018.

About One More Hour

Hinge believes that the holistic well-being of our daters leads to better dates and relationships. Our app encourages people to spend time together in person romantically. Yet we recognize that people need strong support networks beyond romantic relationships to feel a sense of belonging. With our social impact program, One More Hour, we challenge the stigma of loneliness, encourage connection-building behaviors, and make IRL third spaces more accessible.