Hinge’s Guide to Building New Authentic Connections in 5 Steps

A third of Gen Zers* say their favorite thing about attending local social clubs is meeting new people. But let’s face it: knowing how to keep the momentum going after that first meeting can be tricky. What do you say next? When should you send a text? How do you turn a fun encounter into a lasting connection?

Whether it’s the uncertainty of the follow-up or anxiety about spending more time together, these challenges can cause potential relationships to fizzle out. That’s why Hinge has created a new Guide to Building New Authentic Connections—a practical roadmap to turn initial encounters into lasting relationships.

This guide equips Gen Z with a tool to keep relationships from fading, including actionable steps to turn new acquaintances into lasting relationships.

How to Build an Authentic Connection After You Meet Someone New

Licensed therapist and Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert Moe Ari Brown (he/they) has outlined his tips to keep in mind for each step:

1. Set a plan. People often ask me when it’s okay to suggest an in-person meet-up. My advice is to feel out the connection in your initial meeting. If you’ve built some rapport and exchanged more than pleasantries, there’s a good chance the other person would be open to hanging out. After your initial meeting, send a message within 72 hours and suggest another in-person meet-up, which can be a great way to sustain the connection. You want to be timely and ensure the other person remembers the connection. If you tend to forget, set a reminder to check in with them. Here are examples of how to follow up:

2. Spend at least one more hour of one-on-one time. Here are tips on setting up your first one-on-one time together for success:

• Take the pressure off by including a "third object." A “third object” is something outside of the two of you that you can interact with or discuss. For example, a card game! Playing a card game that helps you get to know one another better is an excellent way to break the ice while deepening your connection.
• Do something that you actually enjoy. Don’t feel pressured to do something over the top. It’s okay to stay in your comfort zone! But if you enjoy doing new things with new people, do that!
• Prepare a list of follow-up questions to engage in deeper conversation. Take some time to reflect on what insights you gained about the person during your initial meeting. Consider the topics that piqued your interest and think about any additional aspects you’re still curious to explore further. This will help you build a more meaningful connection and demonstrate your genuine interest in their experiences.
• Pick a space where you feel comfortable. When thinking of places to go, I encourage people to always prioritize comfort and ease. Visiting places that make you feel at ease will help cultivate safety and allow you to relax while focusing on getting to your new potential friend.

3. Follow up. After you hang out one-on-one, you’ll likely have some idea of what their interests are to message about in between hangouts. Whether through social media or text, following up and staying connected outside of meetups is important to sustaining the connection. It's a good idea to ask your new friend how they prefer to stay in touch outside of your hangouts. Everyone has their preferred method of communication; some people enjoy phone calls, while others prefer texts. Understanding their favorite way to connect can help you feel more comfortable reaching out.

4. Attend another social club event. After chatting for a week, keep the connection alive by planning to attend another social club event together! Whether you return to the group where you met or explore a new one, participating together will help maintain the excitement!

5. Repeat! The key to building a connection is being consistent. Continue building the connection by continually reaching out and communicating in between hangouts. While the frequency of communication might vary for each relationship, I encourage you to find what works for both of your goals around connection.

*From December 15, 2023 to February 15, 2024, dcdx (a Gen Z-led research & advisory firm) and Hinge conducted a mix of qualitative and quantitative research, including national surveys of 3,508 young adults.

About One More Hour
Hinge believes that the holistic well-being of our daters leads to better dates and relationships. Our app encourages people to spend time together in person romantically. Yet we recognize that people need strong support networks beyond romantic relationships to feel a sense of belonging. With our social impact program, One More Hour, we challenge the stigma of loneliness, encourage connection-building behaviors, and make IRL third spaces more accessible.