Hinge Answers 5 Key Questions About Navigating Queer Dating in 2025

In May, Hinge released our 2025 LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) Report, Love Beyond Labels, based on research from more than 14,000 LGBTQIA+ and heterosexual-identifying Hinge daters. The findings, developed by our internal team of PhD researchers and behavioral scientists, highlight how queer daters are breaking away from outdated dating scripts and redefining connection on their own terms.

To bring the data to life, Moe Ari Brown (they/he), LMFT, Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert, is answering five of the most common questions LGBTQIA+ daters are asking today. Moe’s guidance below blends their experience as a therapist with Hinge’s insights to help anyone explore queer connection, whether for the first time or with a fresh perspective.

Q: Should I indicate on my profile that I’m open to being asked out by new types of people?

37% of LGBTQIA+ daters want potential matches to show openness to dating different types of people.

Moe Ari: You absolutely should signal the openness you want to receive. A simple phrase like, “Open to different types of people, but definitely looking for my life partner,” or “Not tied to a type, just attracted to good energy,” can make all the difference. By including this in your Dating Intentions Backstory, you can easily and successfully let people know you’re open to dating beyond your type.When you name your openness clearly, you create space for genuine chemistry to unfold, especially with people who may have wondered whether someone like you would be interested in them. This is not about shifting your standards; it’s about expanding your story and making room in your narrative about love to include more than you could have possibly imagined!

Q: Who should send the first message?

57% of LGBTQIA+ Hinge daters prefer to receive the first message, and 38% have no preference about who messages first.

Moe Ari: When you feel the vibe, you should follow it. Too many connections stall because someone’s waiting for “permission” to reach out first. But connection doesn’t have a gender script or follow those rules; it has a rhythm, which is best expressed in real time. Just like music has a rhythm, when you feel it, you let your body move with it. You don’t wait for someone to tell you to dance because you don’t need permission to feel that rhythm inside you. Connection is the same way; it doesn’t wait for someone else to initiate movement.

If someone’s profile moved something in you, let them know! You’re not being too much, you’re being present. The first message doesn’t need to be clever. It just needs to be kind, specific, and genuine.

Start with something anchored in their profile. Try:

• “Your answer to [Prompt] really resonated. I’d love to hear more.”
• “You seem like someone who values presence. That’s rare and refreshing.”

“I smiled reading your profile. Just wanted to say that.”

Q: Who should initiate a first date?

48% of LGBTQIA+ Hinge daters have faced gender-based assumptions about date planning, and 63% have no preference about who plans the first date

Moe Ari: If you’re enjoying the conversation, don’t be afraid to be the first to suggest a meeting in person. When you propose spending intentional time together, you’re saying, “I want to move this from potential into presence.”

In my work with couples, I often remind people that initiating is not a dominance play and it’s not the work of one person to maintain—it’s an invitation. Let’s normalize that being the one to ask for time, space, or intimacy is a strength, not a step outside your “role.” This helps us break free from dating scripts and drop into what feels alive and authentic inside our connection.

If you’re nervous to take the lead, try:

• “Would you be open to a casual meetup? I’d love to continue this energy in real life.”
• “I’m enjoying this—want to grab a coffee or go for a walk sometime soon?”

Q: Who is expected to pay for the date?

LGBTQIA+ Hinge daters are 90% more likely to prefer splitting the bill than heterosexual daters

Moe Ari: Instead of assuming who will pay or waiting until the end of the date, check in before. I always encourage daters to discuss money early, not because it’s transactional, but because it’s a relational issue. How we navigate finances on a date often mirrors how we’ll navigate power, generosity, and reciprocity over time. As a therapist who has spent thousands of hours with people working through deep relationship hurts, I can tell you that your dates are carefully watching how you navigate these interactions around money. The way we handle the bill is never just about the bill. It’s about co-creating a relationship rooted in clarity, choice, and care. For this reason, it’s better to talk openly about money so you can share your perspective on it instead of letting them fill in the blanks based on their own stories. Instead of defaulting to not talking about it, ask:

• “Would you be comfortable if I covered this one?”
• “Want to split or take turns? I’m open.”

Q: What are current expectations with long-term dating goals?

82% of LGBTQIA+ daters prioritize finding life partners, and LGBTQIA+ daters are nearly 3x more likely than heterosexual daters to consider platonic marriages.

Moe Ari: The definition of a meaningful relationship is evolving, and that’s beautiful. Today, people who date are not just selecting partners; they are co-creating new models of love, such as long-term partnerships that might include marriage, co-parenting, chosen family, or even platonic life partnerships.

Today's daters are not less committed; they’re even more committed to intentionality. LGBTQIA+ daters, in particular, are forging paths that prioritize emotional connection, mutual support, and shared vision over outdated scripts.

If you’re unsure how to bring up long-term desires, try:

• “What does a meaningful relationship look like to you?”
• “Do you see partnership as a path toward marriage or something else?”
• “I value a connection that evolves over time. How do you see that unfolding in your life?

The Bottom Line:

LGBTIQA+ dating in 2025 isn’t about performing a role. It’s about showing up, staying open, and doing what feels authentic. Whether it’s messaging first, expressing openness, or redefining what partnership means, LGBTQIA+ daters are proving that clarity and curiosity are the foundations of meaningful connection.

These five questions are just the beginning. See what else queer daters are saying in the full 2025 LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report here.

Methodology: Hinge’s D.A.T.E. Reports are conducted by Hinge Labs, a one-of-a-kind internal team of PhD researchers and behavioral scientists who have the sole purpose of providing evidence-based insights to help Hinge daters find love. Hinge’s internal team of PhD researchers and dating experts conducted surveys in January 2025 with more than 14,000 global respondents, including LGBTQIA+ and heterosexual daters. Recognizing that dating is complex and personal, Hinge Labs uses both quantitative and qualitative research methods to study successful daters and uses those insights to help build the most effective dating app for getting people into relationships.