Hinge Reveals The Most Desirable Partner of Cuffing Season is the Planner

In culture, the financial debates among men and women pop up often: Does “princess treatment” equal not having to pay for anything? Who should be the provider now? Is $200 for a first date too much or not enough? However, new research from Hinge makes one thing clear: what stands out in dating today is effort.

Women today are continuing to make strides in education, career growth, and financial independence, closing gaps that once held them back. And as they build their futures, their dating standards are shifting. A majority (72%) of women on Hinge care more about a potential partner putting in effort in building a relationship than having a higher income than them.

Effort Starts with a Plan

For 74% of heterosexual women, showing effort means making specific plans in advance, and 84% agree it’s more impressive when someone takes the time to plan a thoughtful date than when they spend a lot of money.

Why “Effort” Is Having a Cultural Moment

For many women today, showing effort has become an unofficial “love language” that they wish to receive from potential partners more often.

This desire for effort reflects a broader cultural shift. In 2025, search interest in the word “chalant” (the opposite of nonchalant) skyrocketed 217%*, as more people longed to feel energy from potential partners.

What Men Think Women Want vs. What Women Value

The good news is that some men are already leaning into the shift. 60% of heterosexual men on Hinge say it’s important to plan consistent dates in their romantic relationships, a sign that many are recognizing how meaningful making a plan truly is.

Still, a disconnect remains. Many men believe women primarily prioritize financial wealth or appearance in a partner. 63% of heterosexual men feel at least some pressure to be a financial provider. However, only 6% of women expect their partner to be the sole financial provider.

When asked what they think women value in a “high-value” partner, heterosexual men guessed:

• Body attractiveness (24%)
• Facial attractiveness (21%)
• Financial wealth (20%)
  

But women showed a different story. Their top traits in a “high-value” partner were:

• Emotional availability (35%)
• Acknowledgement and respect for emotional needs (25%)
• Consistent communication (22%)
  

For men, a “high-value” partner is:

• Willing to build the relationship (24%)
• Kind (22%)
• Loyal (22%)

“We need to redefine what it means to ‘provide’ in relationships. The pressure to be the sole breadwinner is outdated, but the desire to provide isn't going anywhere. So give what actually matters to women in modern dating. In addition to planning thoughtful dates, be emotionally open and present, and show genuine interest in their lives,” says Logan Ury (she/her), Hinge’s Lead Relationship Scientist.

Financial Stability Still Matters

While a higher income isn’t a priority, financial stability is still important for 78% of heterosexual women on Hinge. This can signal the ability to build something secure and prepare for the future together. For those who’ve lived through economic hardship (63% of women overall), avoiding instability as adults is a top priority.

The New Dating Standard in 2025: Make a Plan. Mean It. So what actually makes someone attractive this cuffing season? It’s the person who makes a plan and means it by following through with consistency and clear intention. While financial responsibility matters, wealth alone isn’t what makes someone a “high-value” partner today. What women most desire isn’t the provider; it’s the planner.

*Search and social volume insights provided using two-year trend data from Keywords Everywhere, a Google search volume analytics platform, and social listening platforms, Brandwatch and YouScan.

Survey Methodology: Research was conducted by Hinge Labs, a team of PhD researchers and behavioral scientists providing evidence-based dating insights. In August 2025, they surveyed over 6,000 global respondents, both LGBTQIA+ and heterosexual daters.