Sessions Live Recap: How AI Can Bring Us Together — Not Drive Us Apart

Last week, Hinge founder and CEO Justin McLeod (he/him) took that stage at Sessions Live, an annual conference organized by psychotherapist Esther Perel (she/her). He joined sociologist Dr. Sherry Turkle (she/her) and technologist David Barcay (he/him) for a session on the profound changes AI will have on how people date — and what the tech industry can do right now to ensure artificial intelligence doesn’t lead to artificial intimacy. Here are some of the highlights from their session:

Healthy Relationships Require Emotional Vulnerability

One thing is clear in our society today: People feel a lot more comfortable texting friends or talking to AI chatbots than connecting with others in real life. That’s because technology doesn’t force us to be vulnerable with one another. It allows us to hide behind our screens and away from the more complicated aspects of human connection.

Justin explained that Hinge’s success is rooted in a different vision — technology that provides a safe space for people to open up, be vulnerable and form authentic in-person connections. In his words: “Creating experiences that are both palatable and also healthy, so that people get their needs met — that’s how I think about responsible tech design in this world.”

Designing the Future We Want

Responsible tech design is going to be even more important as AI increases its influence on our daily lives. But it’s still early days — and the design choices that tech leaders make now will affect whether our experience with AI is healthy or destructive. As David put it: “The future we get is based on how we design this technology.”

Justin shared a principle that has always guided Hinge’s designers: focus on utility over engagement. “We don’t think about just engagement or matches,” said Justin. “We looked all the way at the end of the funnel, and we said, we’re a dating app that’s meant to get you out on dates.” This applies across industries: Whether an app is trying to arrange great dates or make it easier to order a pizza, it’s essential to find a grounding outcome that puts the well-being of users first.

AI Can Improve the Dating Experience Without Creating Artificial Intimacy

When people think about AI and dating, they might worry about people substituting chatbots for relationships with other people — with "artificial intimacy” as a genuine cause for concern.

But Justin noted there are ways that AI can transform how people connect in the real world without creating artificial intimacy. One opportunity Hinge sees is in coaching users who need a little extra support with online dating. “We’re not trying to tell you what the answer should be,” said Justin. “We’re just trying to nudge you along to be a bit more specific, a bit more verbose … so they show up more as themselves. We’re trying to give them that permission to do that.”

The Takeaway

AI is poised to change how we connect in profound ways — but with a well-designed approach that puts users first, it can be a force for good in the dating space and across our tech-driven world.