Daters Tell Hinge: Good Flirting Starts With a Little Awkwardness

Gen Z is craving more flirting this year, with many people online declaring flirting is a “lost art” and encouraging each other to “bring back flirting.” Social media mentions of “how to flirt” have increased 45%* year over year, while Hinge has seen a 31% increase in mentions of “flirt” in Prompt answers globally over the past six months*.

But Hinge's new research reveals daters don't actually think they've forgotten how to flirt. A majority (70%) of Gen Z daters rate themselves as good or excellent flirts. Yet, they hesitate to flirt on dating apps (67%) and meeting in person (70%). Additionally, 84% rewrite their flirty texts at least some of the time.

The good news? Daters may have more permission to be imperfect than they think. 65% of Gen Z daters told Hinge they’d rather someone flirt a little awkwardly but make their interest obvious – rather than be smooth and leave their interest unclear. 

Hinge’s Love and Connection Expert and licensed therapist, Moe Ari Brown (he/they), advises, “While you’re fixating on how shaky your voice sounded or how long you stared at that message before hitting send, the other person is mostly registering that you stepped forward. People don’t read that as nerves. When you say the funny thing, keep the banter going, make eye contact, or ask for their number, you come across 10,000 times more confident than you might actually feel. People see someone who had the courage to be seen, and courage is attractive.”

So, if daters want more flirting, and most don't mind a little awkwardness, what's holding people back?

Flirting Makes Dating More Fun, but the Fear of Being Cringe Holds Daters Back
The hardest part of flirting isn't knowing how. It's knowing whether it's wanted. When asked what feels more difficult about flirting, Gen Z daters are 88% more likely to say knowing whether flirting is welcome than knowing how to flirt.

This familiar tension echoes what daters have shared with Hinge in recent years:

• 2024: In our 2024 Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report, we saw how a fear of being “cringe” was causing daters to hold back. 
• 2025: A year later, our 2025 Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report found 46% of Gen Z said a top barrier to building emotional connection was worrying about being “too much.”
• 2026: That same hesitation is showing up in flirting. In Hinge’s new research, nearly half (49%) of Gen Z daters hold back from flirting on dating apps because they are afraid of seeming cringe. 

But there's a reason to push past that hesitation: 79% of Gen Z daters say good flirting makes dating more fun. At a time when finding relationships can feel like more work than play, flirting creates room to simply enjoy getting to know someone.And that fun is even better when both people are participating.

The Flirting Moves Daters Want More Of
Everyone wants to experience that playful back-and-forth that makes dating exciting, but nobody wants to feel like they're the only one trying. That's why “matching energy,” or when someone meets your enthusiasm and gives you something back, has become such an important part of flirting. 57% of Gen Z have stopped flirting because they felt like they were doing all the work.

It’s understandable. Flirting isn’t fun when one person carries the conversation alone. But matching energy doesn't mean keeping score, copying someone's texting habits, or waiting for them to prove they're interested before you show enthusiasm.

You also have to give someone a little energy to match. And Hinge's research shows what that looks like. Among the most attractive ways to flirt, Gen Z daters point to:

1. Shared humor (42%)
2. Back-and-forth banter (38%)
3. Making interest clear (33%)

All three start with being willing to participate, whether that's making the first joke, building on something someone said, or being upfront about your intentions

How to Bring and Match Energy: Notice. Build. Return.
Whether you're flirting on Hinge, messaging between dates, or getting to know someone IRL, good flirting doesn't have to be about finding the perfect thing to say. 42% of Gen Z said a specific, playful comment makes them more interested in getting to know someone. Only 13% of people feel interested in growing a connection after a compliment on their appearance alone. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is pay closer attention to the conversation you’re already having.

One dater, Raitah (US), shared, “The people I usually reply to [on Hinge] know how to maintain the momentum towards meeting IRL. I really don’t care about how my looks factor into what they say. After all, they see my profile and would know. The matches I've actually replied to ask good questions.”

To make matching energy easier, Hinge suggests a simple approach for Hinge and dates: Notice, Build, Return. 

1. Notice something that catches your attention
2. Build on it with a little humor or curiosity
3. Return something the other person can play with. 

Hinge's Lead Relationship Scientist Logan Ury (she/her) shares examples of how to put it into practice:

• On Hinge: 
  • Notice: She says she knows the best spot in the city for shrimp tacos. 
  • Build: For your opening line, message her, “Prove it! My secret spot is hard to beat.”
  • Return: “Should we go on a shrimp taco tour to see who’s the reigning champ?” 
    
• On a date:
  • Notice: Your date mentions they're extremely competitive at game nights.
  • Build: “I was really starting to like you, but now I think we might be rivals.”
  • Return: “So when are we putting this to the test?”
    

The Key Takeaway
Moe Ari shares, “My invitation to daters is to let yourself be present and take the step, nerves and all. The other person will notice your bravery long before they notice your nerves.”

Good flirting doesn't have to be smooth. A good flirt can be a little awkward, playful, and something that simply shows you’re paying attention. So don't be afraid to bring your own unique energy to it and see what happens when someone matches it.